


Blue

by especiallythezefronposter



Series: Equals [5]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-31
Updated: 2014-01-31
Packaged: 2018-01-10 17:39:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1162602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/especiallythezefronposter/pseuds/especiallythezefronposter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki dreamt of killing Thor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Blue

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven't yet, you should probaly read the other fics of this series first.  
> I'm not sure if it's okay to end this note with 'enjoy', since I don't think many people actullay enjoy stories about death and destruction, but I don't know hwo else to end this note, so enjoy!

Loki dreamt of killing Thor.

It didn't really surprise him. He was in Helheim, after all. Hel was the only living person that could stay there for long without going mad. Her realm wasn't made for the living and the dead didn't feel despair or agony. Maybe that was why she'd let Loki stay. Eventually he would break, become something he feared more than death or torture. She could control him then, when he was filled with fear, she could make him listen to reason if he was terrified. Anguish, terror, she could work with that.

If she didn't find a grip on him soon he would slip away. They both knew who would die next, and she could only do so much to keep him from giving himself up to Odin to save her.

He was almost proud of her when he woke up from another nightmare. The level of fear he experienced was surreal, while the nightmares themselves were veritable, so true to reality that he believed them for most of the time.

Eventually, in the loneliness of his stay, they became his only reality.

He dreamt of leaving Helheim, barely even realized that every charm and spell Hel had used to keep him there was gone without a trace, no aura of magic lingering where her invisible walls had been strongest, as if she had never tried to keep him from leaving.

He didn't go to Asgard but to Midgard, because he knew that was where Thor would be.

He arrived at a S.H.I.E.L.D base, in the middle of a crowded hallway that became silent as soon as he raised his hand. Every heart except for his own stopped beating, swiftly and silently and the thuds of bodies hitting the ground died away quickly. He followed the sound of still pumping blood, further away, along with the murmur of voice he recognized. There were other voices, too, but he only listened to the one that mattered. 

Somewhere in a debriefing room the Avengers were talking about a recent mission Loki didn't care about. Everything had gone well, according to Thor's voice, no casualties or much to clean up, nothing to worry about. 

That made Loki smile. All of the Avengers in one room, tired and optimistic. Oh, how Loki loved to ruin a day.

It took him only seconds to get there.

The door seemed so loud in the silence that fell, creaking as it opened. His footsteps were loud, too, and hollow. A shiver ran down his spine and made his shoulders shake. He wasn't sure whether it was excitement or anything else, but he didn't take much time to think about it, and didn't really care about it either. The nightmare would almost end. He knew what to do to make it stop. He just had to keep it together for a little longer.

He looked them in the eye one by one. 

Phil Coulson, cold and composed, seeming almost interested.

Clint Barton, so angry Loki could feel the heat radiating from his body, the cold tenseness of his muscles in sharp contrast. 

Natasha Romanoff, not paying attention to him, but waiting for Clint's reaction, making sure she was ready to stop him from attacking Loki and dying even before he got there.

Bruce Banner, concentrated on relaxing and not on him, eyes a fluorescent shade of green.

Tony Stark, angry, hurt and something that Loki would call worry if he didn't know better.

Steve Rogers, frowning, as if he was confused by Loki's return or didn't really believe it.

And finally, Thor.

Loki let his eyes drift away immediately, before he could look at him and his determination would crumble. Instead, he directed his gaze at the window that looked out only over darkness and mirrored the whole room. 

Him included. 

Him, the prince of Asgard, son of Odin and Frigga, brother of Thor and Balder.

Him, the one that had been fed lies all his life, son of Laufey of Jotunheim. 

Him, blue-skinned and red-eyed. 

Him, the Frost Giant.

Him, the monster.

He looked down at his hands and they were blue, his veins sticking out grotesquely, his nails dark and ugly. He wasn't holding a scepter that contained a power that wasn't his. This magic came from within him, dark, lethal and incredibly strong. It was only then that he realized that he couldn't control it. A beast inside of him had awoken the moment he had killed the first agent in the base and it wouldn't go back to sleep until he had Thor's blood on his hands, on every inch of his body.

He started backing out of the room, slowly, and tried to get himself to kill them. _I will split his skull,_ he had told Natasha Romanoff, but now he couldn't do it. All he could do was turn around when he was at the door, quicken his pace, walk away, flee.

An arrow pierced his armor, between his shoulder blades and vertebrae and through his heart, a shot so precise that it only could be Hawkeye's. He left the arrow where it was and walked on, listening to Thor, who was telling the other Avengers to let him handle this and then came after him.

Then they were outside, small between the skyscrapers of Manhattan, not gods but mice. Ants.

'How dare you come back here, Loki?', Thor roared. He was holding Mjolnir and in the distance, thunder boomed. 'You promised you wouldn't come back!' Lightning struck a building behind Thor's back, but he kept looking at a point behind Loki's shoulder and didn't seem to notice that he was damaging the city he had tried to protect only months ago.

The earth shook and the buildings around them crumbled. All noise died away and the monster inside of Loki roared in triumph. 'Can you hear that, Thor? Everyone in New York is dead. We're alone.'

'Why did you come here, brother?', Thor asked. He seemed tired, as if he had been carrying the sky on his shoulders for thousands of years. All of the anger was gone.

'Look at me, Thor,' Loki whispered. Thor didn't react, but his eyes drifted to the cracks in the asphalt below them. The ground started to shake again. More cracks appeared and debris rolled against their feet. 'Look at me!', Loki shouted and the earthquake came to an abrupt end when Thor complied. 'Tell me what you see, Thor? Do you really see a brother?'

'I don't care where you're from, Loki. You will always be my brother and I will always love you. Just stop this madness.' He remained silent for a moment. ‘Please,’ he said then. ‘I can still save you.’

A lone tear rolled down Loki's cheek and he smiled. 'Sentiment,' he whispered as he walked towards Thor, arms spread as if he wanted to embrace him. Thor's arms closed around him and he wished they could stay like that, but then he wouldn't be able to leave this nightmare, wouldn’t be able to silence the monster. 'Do you ever learn?', he whispered. A knife appeared in his hand and dug into Thor's back.

He woke up shaking.


End file.
